Monday, January 24, 2011

And Then There Were None

I find it quite fortunate that I didn't grow close to the calico hamster. We had to take it back.

Again, God gives us many things to be thankful for each day. I had at least two: first, the doctor said Hannah shouldn't be around rodent feces. Second, Petco has a fifteen day return policy. Funny, they always seem surprised when you bring back a live animal. It seems life is fragile that way.

We had a reminder of that today, January 24, 2011. When I called Hannah on my break this morning she said she was experiencing cramping and was worried that we might lose the baby. We talked about it and I told her not to worry until she spoke with a nurse or doctor.

The thought of losing something, someone, who you've been hoping for, was scary. And this is statistically the most dangerous part of the pregnancy. Hannah told me that she's always afraid to find blood, which would be one of the first signs of a miscarriage.

It also reminded me that I'm not ready to be a parent. That doesn't mean that I don't want to be or that I'm not going to try. But I'm just not prepared. I don't think anyone really is, from Hannah and I, to our parents when the time came, stretching all the way back to Adam and Eve.

The fact that we, as the human race, have given birth to writers and poets, thinkers and inventors, fisherman and theologians, says something to God's common grace given to all. Just thinking about the seas and storms that await us as parents makes me realize too that His grace may be common in abundance, but it is uncommon in its pervasiveness and effectiveness. Praise the God of creation.

Monday, January 17, 2011

The Day I Found Out

Monday, January 17, 2011

This morning at approximately 1:00 a.m. our black hamster died. At 9:00 a.m. Hannah took a pregnancy test (at my behest) and discovered we are pregnant. Well, actually she is pregnant. I’m just the guilty party.

I can’t say that I was too sad last night. It was more Hannah’s pet than mine, and we really didn’t have a name for it. If anything, we were mourning the fact that we were still stuck with our mouse, which seems to have a long life ahead of it. We will probably let it go if it doesn’t die before the baby comes.

We got together with Michael Pratt and his girlfriend, Leah, at Cheeseburger in Paradise. We sat, conversed, ate, and conversed for about three and a half hours. We talked about all things from growing beards to the TULIP of Calvinism. It was great fun.

Michael said he and Leah have come to the conclusion that it is no longer a question of “if” they will get married, but rather “when.” We are happy for them.

After our long luncheon, we stopped at Petco to purchase another hamster. It was calico colored, which means “not uniform” to me. I never liked calico cats (now that I know what the term means), and I will probably not grow too attached to this hamster either. If it lives as long as the last one, it will die a month or two after the baby comes. We’ll give it away long before then.

All this writing and I haven’t even gotten to the most important part: the baby. Hannah and I will be discussing names again. We have the boy’s name picked out, but we just don’t have one for a girl. I want a boy, and Hannah wants a girl. If I had to guess now, knowing that I have a 50/50 chance, I’d say it’s a girl.

And I’m happy about that. God is truly sovereign and He has some specific words in the Psalms and Jeremiah describing how He creates a specific person in the womb. If he blesses me with a girl, I will rejoice. If he blesses me with a boy, it just means we won’t have to argue over a name for a while.

Just in case we change our mind before now and then (or whenever we have a boy), the name we want is Lukas John.

We figure the baby will be born around September 25 to October 2, 2011. That means the jokes about Santa paying a special visit will certainly when we announce it to the world.

I’m not really scared, freaked out, or nervous. It is way too early for that. I do have a hard time seeing myself as “Dad,” but then again, if I felt prepared, would I be?

I don’t feel like I’ve fully adjusted to life as an adult. I guess I have until September to make the adjustment.